pretend

The problem with Option B, as with Lean In, is that Sandberg has been asked to take the peculiarities of her own experience and pretend that they might apply to everyone, everywhere. This formula is inherently flawed, but it’s not remotely specific to Sandberg herself. Our culture is obsessed with making women translate everything they do from the personal to the prescriptive and back again.

-Heather Havrilesky ‘Option B and Sheryl Sandberg’s Impossible Position‘ The Cut

puzzle

Even though losing her husband nearly crushed her and she worried that her children would never recover, this forever-A-student transformed her tragedy into yet another puzzle to solve — and it’s exactly the sort of puzzle that only a one-percenter would ever have the time and luxury to solve. It’s also the kind of puzzle that ambitious Americans — who have been marinating for years in the self-made, pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps myths of pioneers and robber barons and industrialists and Silicon Valley conquistadors and Oprah alike — might find well-nigh irresistible.

-Heather Havrilesky ‘Option B and Sheryl Sandberg’s Impossible Position‘ The Cut

现实

 诚然,中国是一个人情社会,中国人际关系的基本模式就是认亲,在血缘关系的基础上和儒家思想的影响下,这渐渐形成交换性的社会行为。或是姻缘亲属关系、或是君子之交,中国人从古至今都习惯于并且传承着这种关系。

可是就现实而言,“富在深山有远亲,贫居闹市无人问”,所有关系网的建立与关系的形成都不是平白无故的,本质上是一种“交换”。能够掌握并且享受关系的人,首先是一个在群体中相对更强的人,身处更高的平台,结交更牛的关系,譬如安迪、曲筱绡,这才有了让别人与之建立关系的必要。

《欢乐颂2》的生存法则是靠关系,这固然有点太过极端,但是在注重礼仪与伦理关系的中国,关系确实是重要的生活组成部分。从这方面来说,《欢乐颂2》真的很现实主义。

-董菁 《欢乐颂2》是一部现实主义的《关系颂》红网

 

little known

In bed, I felt relaxed and beautiful, as I imagine I shall feel in death. I had not been there long when another nurse appeared. She was in the uniform of a student and her face had the exalted look of a person who is doing a great deal of work and receiving no pay for it — which was, of course, exactly the case. She regarded me closely.

‘It says on your card that you’re a writer,’ she began, ‘but I’ve never heard of you.’

‘Did you come in here to harp on my obscurity,’ I asked.

‘No, I came in here to rub your back.’ She closed the door and I generously allowed her to rub my back. Later I was given a sedative and slept the uninterrupted sleep of the little-known.

-EB White “A Weekend with the Angels” The Second Tree from the Corner

looking

Don’t believe that you have to “know someone” to get published (or get an agent or win a prize). Nothing good that has happened to me as a writer happened because I knew someone. Everyone in the lit business is looking for poems and stories and essays and books they love. This doesn’t mean dumb things don’t occur, that there is no such thing as this leading to that because so-and-so knew so-and-so, but beautiful things happen far more often than most people seem to believe. Make people fall in love with your writing. That’s how you get published.

– Cheryl Strayed FAQ

wait

You hiked the PCT in the summer of 1995, but you didn’t write about your hike until many years later. Why did you wait so long?

I didn’t wait. I wrote Wild as soon as it occurred to me to do so. Wild is not in the “I did an interesting thing so I wrote a book about it” genre. It’s a literary memoir. I didn’t write Wild because I took a hike; I wrote Wild because I’m a writer. By which I mean until I had something to say about the experience, I didn’t have any reason to write about it. After I completed my hike on the PCT the story I most urgently had to tell was the one I told in my first book, Torch. It was published in 2006. In 2008, I began to write about my experience on the PCT and I realized I wanted to write a book about it.
– Cheryl Strayed FAQ

carry

I was amazed that what I needed to survive could be carried on my back. And, most surprising of all, that I could carry it. That I could bear the unbearable. These realizations about my physical, material life couldn’t help but spill over into the emotional and spiritual realm. That my complicated life could be made so simple was astounding. It had begun to occur to me that perhaps it was okay that I hadn’t spent my days on the trail pondering the sorrows of my life, that perhaps by being forced to focus on my physical suffering some of my emotional suffering would fade away. By the end of that second week, I realized that since I’d begun my hike, I hadn’t shed a single tear.

-Cheryl Strayed Wild